<p><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>1. It&#39;s hard to plan a day out.</strong></span></p>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en">&nbsp;
<p dir="ltr" lang="en">You always know when you&#39;re the farthest distance from a bathroom, because that&#39;s always when your toddler says they have to go potty, NOW!</p>
&mdash; The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) <a href="https://twitter.com/ParentNormal/status/745725563302612992">June 22, 2016</a></blockquote>

<p style="line-height: 20.8px;"><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>2. Bed time stories.</strong></span></p>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en" style="line-height: 20.8px;">
<p dir="ltr" lang="en">Entertaining a toddler by making animal sounds with each page of this animal book but I didn&#39;t know what sound a giraffe makes so I meowed</p>
&mdash; Yael (@elle91)&nbsp;<a href="https://twitter.com/elle91/status/743957347920384005">June 18, 2016</a></blockquote>

<p><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>3. Too tired to remember anything.</strong></span></p>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en">
<p dir="ltr" lang="en">1. Buy tape<br />
2. Hide tape from kids<br />
3. Need tape<br />
4. Can&#39;t find tape<br />
5. Ask kids where I hid the tape<br />
6. Repeat</p>
&mdash; Wendy S. (@maughammom) <a href="https://twitter.com/maughammom/status/745974640107872256">June 23, 2016</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

<p><span style="color:#000000;"><strong><span style="line-height: 1.6;">4. Future Olympian.</span></strong></span></p>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en">
<p dir="ltr" lang="en">&quot;Mom! I can hold my breath for 18 seconds! I&#39;m only 12 minutes away from the world record!!!&quot;<br />
<br />
Keep the dream alive, bud.</p>
&mdash; Stuff of Wife (@2adults4kids) <a href="https://twitter.com/2adults4kids/status/742480755431997440">June 13, 2016</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

<p><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>5. All kids were made equal but we prefer our own.</strong></span></p>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en">
<p dir="ltr" lang="en">*Only looking at your own kid.*<br />
<br />
&quot;This group shot of the kids is great.&quot;<br />
<br />
~ Everyone</p>
&mdash; Mommy_Owl (@Lhlodder) <a href="https://twitter.com/Lhlodder/status/742002216781778944">June 12, 2016</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

<p><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>6. Date night.</strong></span></p>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en">
<p dir="ltr" lang="en">&quot;Let&#39;s run away for the night and get away from the kids so we can talk about them all evening.&quot; - parents on a date</p>
&mdash; Alison Tedford (@alliespins) <a href="https://twitter.com/alliespins/status/742165933699928064">June 13, 2016</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

<p><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>7. Home cooking.</strong></span></p>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en">
<p dir="ltr" lang="en">My 6yos are practicing ordering McDonald&#39;s to each other, so we may eat fast food a little too often.</p>
&mdash; Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) <a href="https://twitter.com/FatherWithTwins/status/742696084192014336">June 14, 2016</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

<p><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>8. Competitive.</strong></span></p>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en">
<p dir="ltr" lang="en">During pregnancy a woman should gain a recommended 25-35lbs. Not to brag, but I gained 65. I&#39;m totally an over achiever.</p>
&mdash; SingleBabyMama (@_SingleBabyMama) <a href="https://twitter.com/_SingleBabyMama/status/739833293172965376">June 6, 2016</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

<p><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>9. Decisions.</strong></span></p>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en">
<p dir="ltr" lang="en">Toddler Catch-22: Taking toy from crib, so he won&#39;t roll over it and wake up, or leaving it, so he doesn&#39;t wake up and scream it&#39;s missing.</p>
&mdash; Mommy Potty Humor (@mommypottyhumor) <a href="https://twitter.com/mommypottyhumor/status/740431990500032516">June 8, 2016</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

<p><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>10. Dr. Doolittle.</strong></span></p>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en">
<p dir="ltr" lang="en">4-year-old: *scatters bread crumbs all over the house*<br />
<br />
Me: What are you doing?!<br />
<br />
4: Feeding the ducks<br />
<br />
Me: There are no ducks.<br />
<br />
4: Not yet.</p>
&mdash; Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) <a href="https://twitter.com/XplodingUnicorn/status/740886399474380800">June 9, 2016</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

<p><span style="color:#000000;"><strong style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); line-height: 20.8px;">11. Growing old.</strong></span></p>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en">
<p dir="ltr" lang="en">After finding that my son has a sunburn on his head, he says to me in a sad voice: &quot;Ohhh Mommy, I&#39;m going bald!!!&quot; ???????????? <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/funnykids?src=hash">#funnykids</a></p>
&mdash; Lynette Towne (@Didmykidsaythat) <a href="https://twitter.com/Didmykidsaythat/status/747198228270096385">June 26, 2016</a></blockquote>

<p><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>12. Be afraid.</strong></span></p>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en">
<p dir="ltr" lang="en" style="font-family: Georgia, Times, &quot;Times New Roman&quot;, serif; font-style: italic; line-height: 20.8px;">Me: what are you doing?<br />
<br />
2 year old: nothing mommy, don&#39;t look.<br />
<br />
Seems legit.&nbsp;<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/ThisKid?src=hash">#ThisKid</a>&nbsp;<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/TerribleTwos?src=hash">#TerribleTwos</a>&nbsp;<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/FunnyKids?src=hash">#FunnyKids</a>&nbsp;<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/KidsSayTheDarndestThings?src=hash">#KidsSayTheDarndestThings</a></p>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times, &quot;Times New Roman&quot;, serif; font-style: italic; line-height: 20.8px;">&mdash; Fat Becky (@BeckyFoSho)&nbsp;</span><a href="https://twitter.com/BeckyFoSho/status/739820146840080385" style="font-family: Georgia, Times, &quot;Times New Roman&quot;, serif; font-style: italic; line-height: 20.8px;">June 6, 2016</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

<p><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>13. Bear Grylls.</strong></span></p>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en">
<p dir="ltr" lang="en">Me to 3 year old: Don&#39;t worry. Snakes aren&#39;t poisonous here. Response: Yeah, and the bunnies don&#39;t sting here.<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/funnykids?src=hash">#funnykids</a></p>
&mdash; WriterToThe Bone (@WriterToTheBone) <a href="https://twitter.com/WriterToTheBone/status/743898509116530688">June 17, 2016</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

<p><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>14. Memento.</strong></span></p>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en">
<p dir="ltr" lang="en">Isabel: &quot;My farts go in a drawer so they can last forever.&quot; <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/ThingsMyKidSays?src=hash">#ThingsMyKidSays</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/MyKidMakesMeLaugh?src=hash">#MyKidMakesMeLaugh</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/FunnyKids?src=hash">#FunnyKids</a></p>
&mdash; Vanessa (@DrVanerdssa) <a href="https://twitter.com/DrVanerdssa/status/743267458803449856">June 16, 2016</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

<p><span style="color:#000000;"><strong>15. Knock, Knock.</strong></span></p>

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en">
<p dir="ltr" lang="en">L came up with a great <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/joke?src=hash">#joke</a> this past weekend: &quot;Ding dong!&quot; &quot;Who&#39;s there?&quot; &quot;I&#39;m a-door-a-bell!&quot; <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/funnykids?src=hash">#funnykids</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/prouddad?src=hash">#prouddad</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/jimmyfallon">@jimmyfallon</a> hiring?</p>
&mdash; Jeff Overmars (@joverm) <a href="https://twitter.com/joverm/status/740864634832424960">June 9, 2016</a></blockquote>
<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>